Wednesday was my 4 month post-op appointment with my plastic surgeon. After the PTSD wobbles of the last two, I psyched myself up with the mantra “it’s only a check up”. . But, you can’t come between a determined plazzy and his marker pen. Well, you can and this how it looks. . Quite a few people didn’t realise that my DIEP reconstruction is two-staged. The 1st op was about getting the transplanted abdominal tissue to ‘take’ and form my new fat boob. . Phase two is all about the bells and whistles: nipple tweaking, breast balancing and scar revision. For me this includes my breast ‘hang’; how they, um, hang when I bend forward. I’ve no idea of the technical term, but we went with ‘hang’ in my consult. To get equal hang I’ll need a lil lift of the natural breast, fat grafting of the foob as well as liposuction (the triangley mark under my armpit). . We also talked about dropping my abdo scar so my pubic hairline is back in the pubic vicinity and lipo’ing the Ken Doll so it’s not so moundy (days 65 & 96). I was categoric that the mons isn’t to be lifted any higher (otherwise you’ll be able to see what I’ve had for breakfast) . . There’s no room for shyness in these appointments. Or sensitivity. When they grabbed my hip and said “we can take the fat from here” for the grafting I was almost offended - alright, mate, steady on. I’ve lost 15 kg you know, and that’s on hormone therapy! - but I had my cancer game-face on. . But a game face can only kid you so far. . I simply can’t contemplate further surgery this year so I’ll have it done in autumn. I’ve rationalised the delay with lots of kidology (I need to lose more weight; UK family are visiting soon; I don’t want to be rocking bruises on the beach this summer; yada yada yada). In my appointment I was repeatedly assured that it’s better to wait as it will give my irradiated skin more time to accept the transplanted nipple skin. . We’re all kidding each other, it seems, cos let’s not beat around the Lady Badger (day 90). The reason I’m not having surgery this year is because I’m still not over my post-op trauma of not having my pain managed properly. Simples. . . #DIEPFlap